She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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