Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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