well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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