don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
