her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
