yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
