dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
