Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
