the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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