I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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