Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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