Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
