How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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