No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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