worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
