I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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