I skipped work to stalk him.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
