Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
