I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
