i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
