what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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