you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
