youre lurking in front of me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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