the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
