a queef is a wish your heart makes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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