literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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