I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
