and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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