just come out here and I will go home with you...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
