i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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