I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
