I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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