3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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