that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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