He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
