I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
