I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
