Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
