question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
