I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
