So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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