me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
