i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
