I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Your dad touched me again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
