ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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