i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
