what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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