We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
