I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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