Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
