In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
